My Saving Grace

by Johnathan Archie
photo by Johnathan Archie

For whatever reason it never dawned on me that I might need a gun permit.  Or maybe it did and in my state of suicidal logic I rejected that knowledge.  Whatever the case, discount cialis patient those words shocked me out of my peaceful disillusion and sent my head spinning.

I am not real sure how I got home.  I assume I drove.  I moved through the day in confusion. I had lost touch with my peaceful plan and found myself back in a state of hopelessness. More than that I was moving rapidly into rage.  I was angry at everyone and everything.  I was frustrated with my  husband and could not understand why he would not just leave.  Most of all I was consumed with self hate.

The words of abuse I piled on myself were endless.  I could not sleep.  I could not work due to my illness.  I could not live like this and I could not die.

So, tadalafil capsule the only thing left to do was to try to find the answers myself.  I began researching diet and exercise. I had gastric by-pass surgery a year or two before I become so ill so I researched that as well. As a result I changed my diet.  This seemed to help with a lot of the issues.  Some of my symptoms lessened.  I slowly, very slowly, began to add exercise to my day.  Still it was difficult and my weakness fueled my anger.

Unable to tame the flame I decided after much debate to see a therapist.  She is very well respected and understands from personal experience the frustration related to physical illness.

She has helped me come to terms with the rage I feel about my illness.  She also helped me accept the limits of my body as it is now.  By doing that I am better able to move forward and slowly work toward creating the new best version of my body and my life.

So that is what has lead me to this blog and this experiment.  Many believe miracles come without warning or interference.  Some believe we create our own miracle.  I do not know.  All I know is I can use a Miracle and a new point of view. For the next 365 days I will make it my full time job to find my Miracle.

See you on the blogs!

2 thoughts on “My Saving Grace

  1. Terrie, I had no idea what you have gone through. Just want to let you know I have you in my prayers and am asking God to give you peace. Love you.

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